it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
