every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She announced her abortion via fbk
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize