it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize