How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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