how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
