Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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