How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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