i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
