im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
