Yo dont text me then not text me
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
