It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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