Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
