im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
