but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
This is the high leading the old right now
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize