so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
