Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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