Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
a search helicopter?!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
did i just pee glitter
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
