sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
