he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
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