Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
