ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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