Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
