soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
