Reggie can tackle my bush.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
