I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize