dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
