if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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