I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
