shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
