Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
