Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
