Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
