I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
