ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
