guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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