This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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