Who did Billy Mays play for?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
