I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
