i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
