Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you guys were way drunker than both of me
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
