So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
