She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
