You made me cry and you don't even care
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
