Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
