At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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