"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize