When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
