And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
