I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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