hell yes lets make some ravioli
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize