Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize