I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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