3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
