I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
