it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
