How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I can't put those talents on a resume
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
